Sagai hai Sagai !!!!

There are some moments in life when your mind feels like the inside of a salwar kameez store full of Punjabi ladies during the annual discount store . There are some moments in life when you wish your leg was flexible enough to curve back and land a sunny deol-ish kick on your own behind bad enough to render your morning rituals ineffective for three months . There are some moments in life when you wish you could rewind life and clean up all the mistakes you did.

She sent me a very comforting “u have 2 come on my engagement, navin” on phone some time back and I blurted out ok ‘I wil let u know dear!’.

I know I sound like I have done something as bad as becoming an unwed daddy of twins , but what I have done is worse than that – I cudnt make it to A’s engagement.

For those of you ‘jinhone apne TV set derr se khole ho’, A’s is a friend so close, infact the word ‘close’ seems as weak as an A K hangal when it comes, actually she means a lot to me as a sweet freind. she is one of those very few people who I hope will be around all life(being in contact….tring…. tring). And even as I type this , I can’t believe how cud I say the big ‘NO’ to her, I know it hurts the way I said sorry for not coming. And even though I can write her a mail about this , I want this blog to know how a good freind she is.

A****, I know I have been as insensitive as a paralyzed cucumber at times , but you are among the one with whom I share too many fond memories. First conversation through the wrong attempt of sending sms…thank you airtel for such a good friend(hope ki airtel people should gv me atleast life time free calling facility). The aimless chatter over phone (Kitna pakaya tujhe..) . The beautiful thoughts we shared during our telecon .Your insistence of not sharing ur feelings too sepcifically( I am still waiting…..) .Proposal to u for lunch and movie……the two eclairs ,still I didn’t get(again waiting….but plz make a note its 2).And obviously , all the eating stuff I hv called up for are pending from ur side. I guess i can write atleast twenty episode soap opera about our discussion on this.

So now to make it up to you , I will get the date of your wedding tattooed on my arm in permanent ink even if it makes my arm look like a reminder pad, so that it reminds me of ur wedding . I will go around telling everyone you are a Miss India finalist even if you put on weight . I will buy you a huge exotica pizza and that disgustingly fatty ebony and ivory ice cream even if you don’t want to eat . I will be there on every special day of your life from your next wedding(sry tu to ek hi karegi…..) to the weddings(oouch….i mean to say wedding) of your grandkids even if I have seven meetings lined up on the day . I will tell my wife your smile is dazzling enough to light up all the metro stations in Mumbai even if she goes green and calls up her lawyer. I won’t regret writing all this even if G rearranges all the bones in my body.

And I am so sorry for being so stupid even if you say you are not angry.Congratulation dear from depth of my heart….May god bless u both for ur upcoming and awaited life….wish all the best for your future endeavors.

Chakde!!

Stepping out of the hall, I casually asked my mom , “Kaisee lagee ?”.

Usually, asking such question after a movie tells me how it is going to end up doing at the box office. She says “Acchi lagi. Sacchi mein dil kar raha tha ki humari team jeet jaye!” , she exclaimed, almost as excitedly as a teenaged boy in the middle of a dinner date with Rajnikanth.

That was the moment when I knew this movie is going to be a hit. I mean, when a movie can make a 50 year old woman, with a spirit burdened by the strains of bringing up a son like me, say something like that, it sure can cause a young India to pump out adrenaline enough to fill up all the overhead water tanks in my colony.

It was only after my sister explained to me that I was turning into one of those work junkies who spend their lives changing column sizes on excel sheets and are finally found dead slumped on the keyboard by the office boy one morning, that I decided to take my mother and sister to ‘Chak De India’ at Metropolitan Mall in Indore part.

I attribute it to my innocence and ignorance of the female mind that I expected shopping would not be a part of the outing. When two Indian ladies step into a mall, evading shopping is like a cyclist trying to avoid being hit when caught in a race involving PMT buses. My consolation remains that in spite of a season ending sale on at most stores in the mall, there was enough space in the car for all of us and the shopping bags on our way back.

But coming back to the movie, I think King Khan underlines the fact that he can deliver a powerful performance with an unshaven face and without the overexcited romantic antics. It was refreshing to find a bollywood movie sans the girls-rotating-on-steel poles and muscular- guys-with-guns routine .It could have been a shade better if the guy sitting to my left could have used a more society friendly deodorant instead of the one he was wearing which smelt like the underpants of a pizza delivery boy on a hot sticky day. But notwithstanding that, I enjoyed the movie.

The story is as much a secret as Paris Hilton’s night life, so you don’t spend the movie all twitching in your seat and biting your nails till they cease to exist. But the pace of the movie, the normality of the team characters and the sheer spirit of an underdog taking the pants off their disapprovers carries it through.

No wonder that when our girls hit the winning stroke, many in the hall leapt to their feet, whooping in joy like schoolboys who find out the next class is not happening because the teacher has been diagnosed with chicken pox*(See Note).I suspect some of the overweight middle aged Punjabi aunties threw up their flabby arms too. Even the strange smelling guy next to me let out a gritty ‘Yesss’ , though that does not enhance my respect for his tastes in deodorants in any way.

*Note-Talking of unavailability of teachers, my fondest experience remains when our standard VII chemistry teacher got pregnant and the school could not find a replacement for us. For three happy months, we guys spent chemistry classes talking about girls and playing trump cards when we should have been memorizing the periodic table. Seldom has the birth of a child marked the death of happiness for so many children.

I particularly liked the part when the girls beat up a bunch of eve teasers. Due to some unexplained reason, I feel good when I find a girl beating up a guy. Though not that good that I would not walk up to a girl and say “Hey, please punch me. I have not felt good since morning!”.

Also, It must be particularly tough on the guys playing those eve teasers, even if it means starring in a Shahrukh movie. I mean, I can imagine the guy’s proud father watching the movie and pointing out to the people around him ‘See!See! That’s my son there! No, not the one being kicked by that bunch of Manipuri ladies. My son is the one in the yellow shirt, who was just thrown across the table by that Punjabi girl!’.

So even though I doubt the movie will spark off some kind of revolution and seven year old kids all over Punjab will start selling off their toys to buy hockey sticks, it is a decent experience. Dhoni posters will still sell like hot cakes and kids will still believe a hairstyle like Dhanraj Pillay’s is a punishment . Wishing three hours would revive a sport is as ambitious as wishing I would act in Dhoom 3. So nothing great in here,but maybe you will like it. My mother did.